our cozy place!

clutter of the house :) 

I was present in my Masteral class yesterday.. for a change... hehhehehe... my classmates are quite surprise with my attendance... well after months of being absent they’ve probably missed me.. hehhehehe (the truth is nobody noticed that I’ve been missing from class… including our professor. J)
Well I was so bored that I’ve chosen not to come back in the afternoon class. (loser!!!)

We again have a luncheon party in my parents’ house in honor of Lola with all the relatives around… I am sure most of them will see me as Miss Smarty pants… it’s just that I have nothing nice to say to them and I hate chit-chats…

Relative: how are you?
Answer: fine.
Relative: You have gain weight!!!
Answer: Thank You!
Relative: do u have baby now?
Answer: uh none.
Relative: why???
Answer: My husband and I are both barren…. Hehehhe.
Relative Again: huh!! you should consider adopting a baby.
Answer: ( no more answer because I am already gone without saying goodbye…)

So instead of having such kind of conversation I choose not to come near anybody I don’t like. We have a very big network of relatives… and there have always been conflicts… so I just don’t understand the point of them all seeing each other… to patch things up??? I don’t think so…

But in fairness some of my cousins are very close to me… because we grew up in one big house together… but some half aunts and uncles are not that nice… (half because my grandparents are both widowed… so before they were married they have children in their previous marriages. Lola had 2 sons with her first husband and Lolo had 2 sons and 1 daughter with his first wife. And so my mom is the product of the union of Lolo and Lola together with 3 uncles and 2 aunts… We are a very big family indeed! So to sum it all My Mom has 3 brothers, 3 half brothers, 2 sisters, and one half sister :)

Done some reading last night because I can’t sleep… and when I finally feel sleepy I can’t stop reading… hehehehhe… I was so absorbed with the novel I was reading that I lack sleep today and I feel really… really sleepy… (Yawn) .

I’ll attend my Saturday class tomorrow… promise!

Later today my brother will finally take the plunge… he’ll finally say his I do’s with Mary Jean the girl of his dreams… I wish them the best and pray that they’ll love and uphold each other till the end of their days.

How about me? I’ve been married for a year and yet I’m not pregnant… but it doesn’t bother me… because as of now I don’t long for a baby (i'm selfish)… oh but my hubby would really love to have a child…. But I believe that we are both not ready for an added responsibility…

Our friends and family keep on bugging us about having a baby… why can’t they just leave us alone???? We’re enjoying our life and that what matters most.. with or without a baby we’ll enjoy each others company…

We commemorated the death anniversary of Lola by offering a mass for her yesterday… of course I was late for the mass because it started at 5:15p.m. and my last class was until 5:30… everybody was around except for the family of Mama Ben for Yuan is still in the hospital recuperating from dengue fever. After the mass we all went to Golden Valley to visit Lola’s grave… And after which we have our dinner at Matoy’s… it feels good to be with family… We all dearly miss Lola… and being together makes me feel that she’s still with us… at least we’ll always have with us her wonderful memories.

Why am I so attached to my grandma? It is because she’s always been there… in my growing up years she’s been my support… I still can remember the time when I passed the engineers licensure exam… I have seen her eyes brimming with tears of happiness and pride while hugging me tight… And of course I can never ever forget our endless talks of her hardships in life… and it always fascinates me when she recalls the time of Japanese invasion… their hideouts… getaways…and how they survived it all.. There were never any favorites with her grandchildren for she made us all feel special and unique… She never stopped spoiling us all…. I was always a pain in the ass to my parents… and there came a point when my mom throw me out of the house and totally stopped supporting me… well of course I take refuge in my grandma’s care… and stayed with her for months until my mom realized what she’s missing.. hehehehe… Oh I can never stop recounting the wonderful times with my Lola… We are all with her during her last days… and even during those times she had shown us all how strong she is … ready to face death and welcomed it… I really miss Lola and I will forever do.

Though how much i tried not to be late to school... i can never make it.. i will always and forever be tardy..:( I realy would want to dig-out the reason why am i like this???? it is innate i guess... i still can remember during my elementary days that i'm always late for the flag ceremony... and the situation worsen during my highschool days... and well maybe i'll carry it out until i die. :(.
Why can't i become more responsible? to perform my duties in the best of my ability... sigh!

My Lola!

Today is the second death anniv of lola... and the pain of losing her still lingers... I miss her...SO MUCH...IT HURTS! If only i could have told her how much i love her... and thank her for showering us all with so much love...

Lola I love you!

rainy day!

Back to work again ... it's monday and it's raining....

Everybody's late for work today because it's really cold and it had been raining since yesterday.... i feel good when it rains...

Today my friend-cousin is celebrating her 26th birthday...Happy Birthday Ate Jojo! :)

Tomorrow would be the 2nd death anniversary of my beloved grandma... until now i still miss her ... she is a very special lady and she'll forever be remembered...

sunday...

It's sunday... and here i am blogging because i am still stuck here in the cafe. Marwin the person in charge here is still sick and was advised by the doctor not to report to work i just don't know until when.... huhuhuhuhuuhu... well i'll just close this place tomorrow... no choice... :(

My eyes are strained now... been staring at the monitor for the whole day... tired from playing different games in yahoo... i want to go home now but my customers are still busy chatting and i don't have the heart to send them out hehehehe...

The day was just fine...went to church to hear mass earlier with joey... then went to trisha's to eat burger.... skipped lunch... i'm really serious in my weight loss program :) hahahhaha...

I will pass by my parents house later to have free dinner... hopefully i'll still find something to eat there...

An outbreak of dengue had been reported here in our town... hmmmnnn... I pray that Yuan the 2 year old son of my cousin will recover soon from dengue..

Have to continue playing my scrabble game.

boracay 

boracay sunset 

Saturday

it's Saturday and I am in the cafe.... unluckily Marwin is sick today and I am stuck here... fortunately our professor in our 2 subjects is absent ... finally I’ve decided not to drop from my Saturday classes.....I will never ever quit. (This is the spirit!) hehehehehhehe... finished answering our take home midterm exam last night and I beat the deadline... it is exhilarating to be able to do something useful… and something that requires the use of my worthless brain cells…. I just pray that my professor would agree that my answers are indeed brilliant and worth reading. J

Often I wonder what to do with my life… bwaahahhahahahha… what’s wrong with my life and what would I want to do with it? How long is my stay in this beloved planet.. When would I die? I just don’t know if I would want to know the answers to these questions. …. Hmmmmnnn here I go again…

I always feel busy but actually I am not doing anything… thoughts always crowd in my head and that’s what makes me busy… anyway I’m beginning to blabber things here but I don’t know what to say..

I’m living a simple life and what’s wrong with it? I really try to make it so uncomplicated… easy and of course happy…. I have so many wants in life and of course it would always remain as wants… because I don’t need it…

Lately I’m beginning to feel low… :(

thursday!

how time flies :)... internet connection had been down here in school since monday and it was one of the main reasons why i have not updated my blog... when i am away from the PC things keep popping in my mind about the things i'll gonna write here.. but when i am finally here writing, my mind freezes and i can't remember anything i wanna write or the things i am thinking of writing are but nonsense...useless things hehehehhehe....

I was absent from my class again last saturday...went to the business site to have a final meeting with my business partners.. things are not that bright but there's no point of quitting at this point of time.....

friday again!

it's friday again... hopefully i'll be able to attend my masteral class tomorrow... last saturday i was absent again... i have a meeting with my business partners... we had discussed some important things about our soon to open business. We visited the site where the establishment will be put up and and the place is really breathtaking... a beautiful beach in a sleepy town...a mountain overlooking the beach, the nearest city is about an hour ride from it...

What is it with a body of water that makes people feel calm and peaceful?

I really have to be present in my masteral class tomorrow because it is our midterm exam... i am thinking of dropping out from my masteral class but i really don't know... it seems that i don't find any direction in my life now...

I need to have my cup of coffee now. :(

musing...

What would it take to make a person happy? material things can bring temporary happiness... for a couple of days maybe or a week the most...the state of being in love can also bring so much joy... well just until reality sets in that "being in love" phase is just passing... hmmmmnnn... why am i thinking this way?

Recently i just had realized something in life... that a lot of things we wanted so much can never make us happy... NEVER!
Gone with the Wind is one of the novels i will never ever forget... Scarlett's love for Ashley is actually non-existent... what a wasted effort to long for someone or something only to realize in the end that the longing is but just an imagination... hahahhahhahaha... this is liberating!

friendship

My friends are integral part of my life... these are the persons who make life better... they bring laughter, joy and love.... i often ask myself if i've indeed been a good friend to all those persons whom i hold dearly in my heart... i know i have my limitations...



I always believe that in friendship you give everything and expect nothing in return... it sounds too ideal but this is what i believe in... i am never thoughtful.. i don't give gifts... but i know how to stand by a friend... to give all the support that i have in his/her time of trouble... i am very loyal.... my friends enemies are my own enemies...

I believe that friendship is unending... amidst the time and distance the relationship will remain... so when i say i am your friend.. it's my way of saying that i'll stand by you through thick and thin...

it's friday!

it's friday and tomorrow is saturday... so what???? i still can't sleep non-stop because i have to be present in my masteral class... otherwise my professor will drop me from the class list because of excessive absences... well at least i won't be seeing my students 'til tuesday...because monday here is a local holiday..yipeeeee! and if you care to know why it's holiday... it is the foundation anniversary of my hometown where i am located now.. my beloved hometown...KORONADAL... Today we are all quite lonely in the office because we'll be giving a despededa party for jovy our cashier... today is her last day with us... she'll be leaving for dubai soon to find a better life and a higher paying job... i wish her all the luck and success... she's a very nice lady and i do like her... well anyway i don't abhor anybody at work... everybody is nice to everybody... but nonsense talks and gossips do sometimes hurt... Time for the party now so i have to leave....

sleepy!

i have nothing to write but i am in front of the pc so i just thought of opening my blog and write anything that comes to mind.... as usual i am late for work again... i just feel tired and all i wanna do is sleep... sleep and sleep... i had a headache last night..not so bad but still a headache anyway... My students in my one and only class today are all missing... so again lucky me... teaching is really tiring and having no student around is indeed a very big break... hehehhe...I feel full now...just finished munching a slice of chocolate cake from an officemate... and a fruit salad is still waiting to be eaten... hhehehehhe.What am i doing with my body? gosh i am growing bigger everyday... maybe it has something to do with my slowing metabolism... and i am not doing anything to shed off this extra fat... i really need to lose weight... huhuhuuh...help!i really have nothing to write now so i better stop and do something worthy.... hehehhe.

Morning!

I have to drag myself out of bed earlier this morning... but as usual i am late again for my first class... huhuuhuhuhu... i really should get rid of this habit... an addition to my new years resolution... to always be on time... to lose weight... blah blah blah... I feel hungry now... actually very hungry.. skipped dinner last night because i have nothing to eat when i passed by my parents house... and i am late for school so no time for breakfast today... oh but i am really hungry... Time for my cup of coffee.... :)

Happy New Year!

happy new year!
I am back to work again.... actually classes were back since yesterday and today is my second day at work for the year 2005... nothing new except for the new year of course... got no classes now.. my students in my one and only class today are all missing.... Lucky ME! I feel tired... and i don't feel like coming to class and teach,.. ha ha ha... this will pass of course.. maybe this feeling was just brought about by the loooonnng christmas break.. but i really don't feel like teaching.. it seems that all of my zeal for teaching was gone with the year 2004... huhuhuhuuhu... what will i do now? HELP!!!What should i look forward for this year 2005? more more blessings... maybe a trip abroad... or maybe to work there finally.. well who knows what is in store for me this 2005?